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Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005, 12:28 p.m.: changes...

Did I mention that K and I went out for an audition, a while back, for a reality type show that would feature our wedding for one episode? Anyways, so we went for fun, not thinking anything would come of it. Not only were we the only couple that had NOT planned a thing, but we also had very little $$ to spend on our special day. Ya, so we ended up getting the gig...if you want to call it that. I mean, obviously most [if not all] of the bride/groom couples are actors...we're just not getting paid to do this. It is purely for exposure. Well, this means that our wedding has to be pushed up to April 2006, the 30th to be exact. The Mother was not too excited to hear that news, when I broke it to her the other day. She was hoping for July 06, where she had more time to try to 'persuade me out of the marriage'. Weirdo! She's really been pulling out all the stops. I mean, she refused to help me financially, she's talking shit a/b K to me [in every which way possible], she's construeing stories in the most negative light [w/o even having facts, which makes her look like a fool], she's withrawing her love [which is her personal fave]. I mean, anything she can do, she's trying. She has yet to tell me that she 'WILL NOT be filmed on our special day' but, I have a feeling that one is coming soon. To that I'll say, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is my [K's and I] special day...it's NOT a/b you, so deal with it.' Do you think she'd actually not come to the wedding?? Hmmmm, I wonder if she's sink that low? Time will tell, I suppose. How desperate, for control, is she really? You know, I'd hate to be in her shoes ...feeling what she feels every day, for no good reason. It must get tiring...and what a/b your quality of life. Oh well some things never change, I guess. I will not feel regret for my choices and decisions tho, just b/c she does not approve. That cycle of negativity WILL change, and it'll begin with me.