Wednesday, Jul. 27, 2005, 11:13 a.m.: ???
What to say...what to say? I'm in a weird position right now. It's getting closer to our wedding date and it's coming to the time where we have to start planning. My parents are both strict Catholics and WANT me to be married in the Catholic church. I, on the other hand, don't agree with the Catholic doctrines/rules fully and therefore don't consider myself a Catholic...even tho I've been baptised and all that jazz. My Mother is seriously image conscious so for her to come to my [our] wedding, if it was to held by some minsister [from another religion], would be a slap in the face to her. I however, just want us to be unified in a mutual ceremony that confirms our love. I mean, I don't really care of it's a Catholic priest or a Rabbi or whatever. I don't need a Catholic priest to tell me that my marriage is legit, but I have this terrible feeling that if I don't get married in the church my parents will be having a heart-attack the whole way thru. So I'm @ this terribly strange cross-roads where I can't decided what to do. K is totally against us marrying in the Catholic church if it has anything to do with my attempts to please my parents. He says he wont do it if that's the only reason I would choose to get married there. He's agreed tho that if it's really what 'I' want then he will adhere. I just can't figure out how to completely decipher if this feeling I have inside is for my parents or for me. HELP ME!!!!!!! I don't want to be a hypochrite, I know that. I know that if I were to be married by our Catholic priest, he would have to agree to our terms otherwise there's no point. I guess that's my answer there. I'm just worried that this will create bad blood between us and my parents and the last thing I want is for us to be stressed out on our wedding day due to their guilt tripping. Even if it's wrong, on their part, it's going to affect us both. I don't want the memory of my wedding being me running out crying my eyes out b/c my parents just don't get it, again. What to do...what to do???