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Tuesday, Mar. 22, 2005, 4:38 p.m.: lover, not a fighter...

I caught Gwen Stefani on Letterman last night and was NOT impressed with her. First off, she has become so skinny that when she was sitting in the chair beside him, she looked like an 8 yr old girl. Second, her personality was very cute BUT not enough to make you want to actually converse with her. Third, the song she sang was the crappiest one on her album. It's the song I ALWAYS skip passed. What ever happened to the Gwen we all knew and loved man?!?! I was crushed.

I spent the whole weekend with K's parents, celebrating Persian new years. It was fun. We visited a bunch of relatives, there was a party to go to every night, and I even got gifts. He told his Dad, the last day that we were there, that we plan to get married within a years time. His Dad didn't lecture him or anything, just told him to make sure that we have an honest relationship and he'll be happy for us. He also informed him that we would be living together. His pops isn't old fashioned @ all, so it was very comforting to hear that he wished us well. Normally his Father is always leacturing him a/b his life and how he lives it, etc etc. It looks like he approves of me and thinks I'm 'the right path' for K, which is very beautiful. We got into a couple arguments while we were there tho. The funny thing is they developed out of literally the most innocent of conversations. I have a tendency to get VERY defensive and I hate to be wrong. Communication is also NOT my forte, especially when it involves my emotions in any way. So I tend to explode, or close up, or something else to the negative effect. I've been getting better tho, so a positive change is on the way. It's hard to change the patterns that have been conditioned in you. It's even harder to see a situation objectively, when you feel like you're being attacked, whether it be imagined or unimagined. The fight tho erupted in a bad way. I said some things that were really terrible, that I have since apologized for. The good thing is that after every argument/fight your bond is secured as so much stronger. Those very vulnerable moments do bring two people closer together, ironically. That, and the fact that we are constantly progressing, makes it worth it. @ heart tho, I'm definately a lover...not a fighter.