rings email host

Friday, Oct. 08, 2004, 11:39 a.m.: biz...

FRIDAY!!!! It's the beginning of my long weekend. I was suppose to write this on-line test here but I just found that the 'on-line' tests have been discontinued. SO that means I actually have to study for the fucking thing now!! I had planned on doing it open book and I felt no way a/b it b/c the big test HAS to written @ another location anyways. So even if I got away with 'cheating' if you want to call it that here, I'd still be put to the real test later on to pass fully and get my licence. What a piss off though!!! I scheduled for this coming Wed @ 1pm which cuts my weekend down a bit...now I have to take time to study. I really don't like this finacial stuff but it's a matter of getting a raise or not, which may lose appeal to me if this becomes too difficult. I hate to say that I'm goingto quit but it's so hard to continue with something that I'm NOT @ all passionate a/b. I actually feel that it's counter-productive b/c it means I'm settling...that's how I tend to look @ it. I hope to never be that person who works @ a job just b/c she has to and not b/c she really wants to.

I made it to the gym this morning. Last night I was so exhausted, after spending the whole day driving a/r downtown, that by 10.30pm I was delirious. K was so worried he followed me home last night to make sure I got there okay. If he hadn't been behind me who knows what would've happened. All of a sudden though, after dinner with his Father, my legs started to ache and I became super tired. I also knew that I needed to get home early enough so that I could get up and go to the gym this morning. I would've been so angry if I had missed it. I did legs/shoulders/abs today and it felt SOOOOO fucking good. My biceps are still hurting from Wed mornings work-out which I love. God, why do I love this pain so much?!?

No word yet on any auditions for me. You'd think I'd be @ least gone out to ONE?? Fuck, this is pissing me off. I have to do a mail-out still to some of the main casting directors in the city, just introducing myself to them. Yesterday we booked an editing room @ one of the schools and went over some of my latest footage for a demo reel I have to put together. I need the demo b/f I can do the cd mail-out. I'm thinking of making dvd copies so that I can distribute them in mass quantities. Well, 'mass quantities' is a tad dramatic but I wanna make alot of them. DVD's are great too b/c they're small and compact and can be watched by anyone pretty much anywhere nowdays. A little too much biz for the day but fuck, such is the world of the 'actor'. This is what we stress a/b...the gritty emotional stuff is the reward.