rings email host

Thursday, Jul. 08, 2004, 10:31 a.m.: the dawning...

How uneducated am I?! You know, I wasn't even aware of the fact that during WWII there were people, within the structure of the regime, that were forming a resistance to help the prisoners and take down the Nazis. Fuck, the things we don't know!! Some were working in the weapons factories a/r the end of the war and were sabotaging war heads and other equipment used by the Germans. There was some statistic like out of 10,000 war heads only 4000 got off the ground and less than that ever managed to hit their target. SO considering each warhead had the power to take out 50,000 people...these underground fighters within the camps saved SO many fucking lives...while risking their own. I was totally inspired b/c I know all a/b rebellion and shit, I was a very rebellious child myself, but to see it come to life within such hard conditions is proof of the strength of the human spirit. It made me fond of humans on a whole again.

I met up with the director, his bro and a friend of their's who likes me. We all went to dinner and then to the theatre to watch the screening of the documentary. Dinner ended up being free for me which was a bonus since I had taken out my last available funds from my account. A/f paying for my 'late' tax return I have like no money left over to spend. My boss wont be back from vacation till next week, so I've gotta wait still b/f I get my pay check. Gotta conserve. I didn't stay long a/f the thing b/c I had an appointment to get henna done to one of my hands. That plan got fucked over though b/c our 'a/r 9pm' appointment turned into a 12am appointment. So fuck, by that time, I was a bit high and it was coming up to 12.30am so I said fuck it. I'll have to go another time. My sister's friend was doing it for a wedding and she said she could do our hands too, if we wanted, so I'm sure we can just re-show for her.

What's tonight?? I want to do something. I've been getting alot closer to my sister lately, which is nice. For a while there our schedules were just so different that we hardly saw each other any more. I like her, she's a great girl and I really like hanging out with her. I've missed her. We use to party all the time when she was in her late teens and I was in my early 20's. We'd get high and dance all night long with our friend's. She was always being irresponsible and I thought I always had to take care of her...which pissed the fuck out of me. Now though she can take care of herself so all that pressure is off my shoulders and I can just have a great time with her. Now she drives me instead of the other way a/r. It's nice.

Oh, and here's the great news so far. Tuesday I have a meeting with that agent. I'm bringing my scenes in fr him to look @ and hopefully, if the planets are aligned properly, I'll get signed.