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Wednesday, May. 26, 2004, 9:20 a.m.: the time...

So it's over. My girlfriend, or x-friend, decided to end our friendship. She was in no way willing to look @ herself in the situation and admit to any fault other than the fact that 'this is who she is'. I couldn't continue to go on that way with her and I told her that. I told her that I felt our friendship was very superficial and that if there was more to it, that we would e able to discuss problems and work them out. But when I say we, I do mean both of us, not just ME. She would have nothing of it and so she cut it off, saying that 'it's too bad it had to end this way'. What can you do? I guess I've gone in a totally different direction than she has. It may be the right thing for her to do, repressing her feelings and ignoring the truth in things, but for me it is NOT. And that's the big difference here. So it's done. People keep telling me that she did me a favor, and she has, but it's kinda sad that a/f all these years it's been worth nothing.

I did something fucked to my neck on Monday. I went to the gym early in the morning and I had slept all weird that night. So I'm bent over the bench doing one arm dumb-bell rows and I jerk my neck up and hear this crack. All of a sudden my whole neck and upper back seized up on me and I had to just sit down. Being the paranoid freak I am, I thought I had broken something...so I sat there wondering if I was going to be able to get up and walk again. I did, of course, and I tried to do a few more exercises which probably wasn't the brightest idea. Today it's feeling better, my range of motion is slowly coming back to me. I think I should still make an appointment to go and see a doctor though, maybe get a physio appt while I'm @ it. You never know with these delicate areas and I mean, I did crack the thing.

I've got alot to finish up this week. I finally got my pics back from the photo-lab, a/f they fucked up on my name AGAIN. Now I can get them out in packages to agents. It seems like this is a pretty good time right now and that they're looking to take on new talent so. Since my movie is coming out in a month, it's also a great way to market myself. I'm going to put a flyer into every envelope and offer them a free tix to one of the showings too, if they'd like to come out. I'm also going to work on getting myself a story in some local papers too. This is the time!!