Monday, Feb. 09, 2004, 10:34 a.m.: fucking boyz...

Well well well...what a weekend. First, I have to explain how destiny slapped me in the ass on Sat night. I know I may sound a little out there but seriously, what are the chances. So a/b a year ago I met this bartender @ a local club I danced @ once in a while. It was one of those cosmic sexual connections where as soon as I saw him and he saw me it was immediate intense psychic attraction. He was a bit stand offish @ first but I was flirting heavily w him and he couldn't stop watching me all night. @ the end of the night, he called me over to the bar, poured me more free shots and told me he was [unfortunately] taken. As dissapointed as I was, I respected him even more b.c he was so loyal to the damn girl...even w my overtly sexual ass flaunting a.b in his face. I ended up bumping into him as I was leaving that night and he gave me a big hug and told me to make sure I came back to see him. Sure sure, more tips for him right? Well, he has never left my thoughts...he was always popping up. We went back one time a.f that and I didn't see him there, so I figured that he probably left to work @ another bar @ some point. I figured I would never see this guy again unless somehow the universe wanted us to meet again. Anyways, sure enough this Saturday we all head out to this club again. I'm totally NOT expecting to see anyone there I know, let alone him, but sure enough, my girlfriend notices that HE is working the bar. We go over to see him and she leans in and says hello and makes reference to how long it's been since we've [she's] seen him. I'm watching him as he says hi to her but he doesn't look over @ me, whose standing @ the end of the bar just waiting to see him look my way. And I'm wondering...does he really remember her? Will he even remember me? I'm just some chick who was flirting with him...must happen all the time with this guy. So, he finally looks over @ me, a.b to take my order, and he stops and goes 'Shit, it's been a really long time' followed by the most sexual smirk I've ever seen...and I swear I must have melted right there. So, guy totally remembers me and it's obvious that I made quite the impression on him, just as he did on me. The whole night he's flirting with me, winking @ me while he's taking other peoples orders, touching me, paying me so much attention. Where with everyone else, he's just doing his job...like a robot. I'm thinking, 'something must have happened between him and the girlfriend b.c he's much different this time...much more open and receptive'. It was like a movie, I'm telling you...I'm dancing and he's watching me, stealing glances, smirking, fuck I could have fucked him right there on the bar infront of everyone. Turns out he's still with her though, things aren't going very well but they're trying to work it out. Explains why he's so overly attentive with me. I continued to flirt with him w.o crossing the line [the line being no sexual touching] but I was only dancing for him and he totally knew that. B.f he left he told me to be careful getting home [how fucking lovely is he?!] and he gave me a bunch of free passes. I'm going to give him my biz card next time. If he ever breaks up with 'the woman', and he still thinks a.b me, he'll know where to reach me. I seriously cannot stop thinking a.b him...fuck. Aside from that, I danced my ass off and it felt so good to be out with the girls again.

My date w the new guy went not exactly as I had originally thought it would. I decided to just let myself go with the flow. I got the impression early on that he was my open door to experiencing things that I've always wanted to try. A.f last night though I'm not going to be contacting him unless he rings me first. We have alot in common, share the same views and shit, but I see him as only sexual. He can take control of the situation if he wants too now that he knows what I'd be into. He's very strongly sexually driven and I would never want to get attached to him...dangerous situation. I think the greatest thing a.b him [besides the fact that I know I can live out some of my fantasies with him and feel comfortable and that his high sex drive would match me, maybe even out-do me] is that the cast of QAF parties @ the bar he manages. Brian Kinney baby, I am so going to get you. Maybe I could get them in a threesome...that would be so perfect. I'm young so I might as well get this shit out of my system now b.c I wont be able to later. We'll see what happens next. Fucking guys.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx