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Monday, Sept. 08, 2003, 10:59 a.m.: back in town...

Well, I've finally returned to the civilized world...where people eat as humans 'should' and not as animals do...where comfort is being able to wake up in the morning to a hot shower, that can last longer than 2 mins...where I can sleep @ night w/o being attacked by a zillion bugs. It's great to be back!! Nevertheless, I had an amazing experience there. I still have to finish filming this Thursday though...there's one more scene we have to get done. Friday night I had to finish with this really intense scene that left me feeling really detached from the world. @ first I was kinda scared to go there [to the place they needed]... it's where I just discover that my friend has been taken [and probably killed] by a serial rapist. Once I finaly did get 'there' though, to the point where the pit of my stomach hurt and I wanted to hurl, I was more detached from reality than I had been b/f...when I was afraid to feel that type of horror. My director was very happy with the performance and he came over and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek...which was nice. Driving home that night was not the easiest thing to do though, plus I was so fucking tired ontop of it. I had to get back into the city to rehearse for another up-coming project that will be shot this w/e. The director for this project was impressed with how well I clicked with the other lead and we only had to go over the script twice. It was cool to get out of there fast, so that I could go home and sleep.

The film festival is in town now and I hear that Benecio Del Toro is here too. Out of all the celebrities here, he would have to be the only one I give a flying fuck a/b. It would be awesome to bump into him somewhere. I had a dream a/b him too last night. He was staying @ my parents house...they were housing him during the festival...which makes no sense @ all. Like he wouldn't be able to book a room @ the most expensive place in the city?! Tonight I'm heading to see the premiere of a film that my girlfriend wants to see. I've gotta rush down there a/f work to wait in line for a spot in the theatre. We got free passes b/c another girlfriend of mine is working the festival this year, but we need to wait to see if there are 'paid' spots available still. If not, we can't get in and I guess we'll just go out for dinner or some shit.

Hey, I got some yumminess yesterday too!!! Talk a/b some good news or what?! I was very impressed with this boy's willingness to make sure I was pleased. He worked hard for me too! The best part a/b it was how much it was like we always are together. I mean, it wasn't any different a feeling from how I feel when I'm near him when I see him [and we don't fuck a/r]. It was just so natural...so flowing from one second to another...almost like water, if I was to try to describe it in a metaphor. Beautiful!!

Well, now it's back to work for me. My normal 9-5 and then the rest of the 'work' a/r that time. It's fucking 24/7...it never ends. Not that I'm complaining, I think we all yearn for something that never ends...that's why we do what we do.

Love, CAT xXx