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Friday, Aug. 29, 2003, 12:19 p.m.: update...

So, I've been up north for like 2 weeks straight, almost...shooting a film. I'm gonna bitch only b/c that's what I do. Now, I love acting...but I hate waiting a/r. B/c the shoot is an independant one, I don't have back-to-back shooting days and that's what drives me crazy. The inbetween time is really disheartening and it's very easy to loose your focus. If I was one of these people who didn't care, I guess it wouldn't be so bad...but I do. Another thing I noticed is that I don't like helping with crew stuff. Like, I will not hold the boom [mike] or the big reflector thingie. I need to feel like I'm in character or 'semi' still in character to continue working properly. Plus, I cannot stay still for that long w/o fucking something up...and I don't want to be held responsible. I may come across as a 'diva' [althought I'd say HARDLY!!] but it's just the way it is. Cleaning though I am willing to deal with...no problem!! So, I'm here for the w/e and then I go back up Monday morning. I'm home to wash my clothes, feel clean, and re-boot myself. Hopefully I can squeeze in some auditions in between as well...we'll have to see.

The gym too...I've been missing the gym. Tonight I'm hitting it up majorly...and through the w/e too. Then for the remainder of the week, while I'm filming, I can jsut focus on the mental energy I'll need to expend. Hey, I heard that @ the MTV awards last night, Madonna was kissing X-Tina [or whatever she calls herself now]!! How jealous was I when I heard that shit?! Very!!!! She's my woman, for fuck's sake!!!

Love, CAT xXx