rings email host

Thursday, Aug. 14, 2003, 9:29 a.m.: keeping it moving...

So, an ex 'girlfriend' of mine called me up yesterday, a/f we hadn't spoken to each other in like 1 1/2 years. We had a huge falling out that consisted of my flipping out on her and ending our friendship b/c of all this built up tension I had. Not exactly one of the best ways to deal with a problem [or problems, as in our case] but @ the time that's how I knew how to deal with things. When I say 'girlfriend', I don't mean that we fucked and shit. Although, if there is anyone that I would have slept with it would be her. We were always both attracted to each other, in ways that never had to be expressed...it was just there. So, for a year I hear she's been wracking her head 'cause she can't understand why our friendship ended the way it did...and what did she do...and yadda yadda. I think she knows full well, but I guess when you run it over and over in your mind you begin to lose the point. We agreed to meet @ some point, for coffee, and talk it over. Since I'm @ a stage in my life where I think I can talk, like a mature adult, a/b my feelings and what I expect of certain people...I figure this is as good time as any. I will be completely candid with her. She also deserves an apology, but only for my ignorance @ the time...b/c I knew no better way to handle my feelings. She still caries those traits that I could not stand though and so I feel I will have to keep her @ a safe distance. The good thing now is that my life is so busy. I have little time for socializing with all my friends too much and have to break it all up between them. Well, I think we're going to be meeting up tonight, so we'll see how it all goes.

I have to leave for another shoot day, for that 1914 thing I did on Tuesday. My call time is suppose to be @ 11.30am, but they're going to call me to let me know if I can go in later than that. The cool thing a/b that is that I'll probably get to eat lunch with everyone else...free lunch is always great. I forgot my make-up @ home though, so I'm going to have to run by there first. I just signed the contract today too, for the film I'm shooting up north. I have to make sure it doesn't conflict with another shoot day I have for something else I'm doing though. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage knowing my lines for the other one as well as this one. It's a good thing I have a multi-tasking brain. Reading 4 books @ once proves to be worthwhile in my case. Fuck, I still better get reading all those scripts...over and over and over.

Love, CAT xXx