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Monday, Jul. 21, 2003, 9:37 a.m.: beauties...

Holy shit!! This w/e was fucking filled with auditions. And, I had an awesome feeling a/b all of them. Well, except for the one I did on Saturday. It was for this horror flick and I had to freak out @ one point b/c I had was seeing all these dead people everywhere. I pulled it off amazingly. I know b/c I was shaking so badly, a/f the fact, that the producer had to ask me if I was okay. The only thing that really got to me a/b that one was that they hardly said a thing to me when I finished. Mind you, I did realize that I was a tad fucked up so they may have said more than I thought they did.

Yesterday I had three of them and I felt like I scored all of them. Now it's going to come down to...'do I fit their idea of the role, looks wise?'. We'll see. Friday night I went and saw 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. Johnny Depp was great as usual...I mean, he was beyond great! I've decided to model myself a/f him as far as my acting goes. He is everything I would want to accomplish as an actor. And I love the fact that he's married with 2 kids and lives his life away from all the media hype and shit. He just does his own thing. He's, for the most part, my fucking hero.

As far as partying goes, I did none of that this w/e. It's cool. I'm trying to get use to the fact that I don't have to go out and fuck a/r to have a good time. I don't need alcohol or mass amounts of people who think they're living it up. I can just be solo, in my own solitude, maybe with a book/movie or some shit. It definately does take getting some use to, but it's not that hard. Oh, I also bought a pair of stilettos @ the mall with a matching black purse, decorated with three buckles. Fucking beautiful!!!

Love, CAT xXx