Wednesday, Jul. 16, 2003, 9:30 a.m.: fear hurts...
I think I'm emotionally crazy. Seriously though, I think something is wrong with my emotional processing box. I notice that I have insecurity problems and pride issues and that combination is a bad one. I went to see the screening of a film I did a while back, yesterday, and while I got many praises from people, the most important person to me I somehow managed to be a bitch to. He may not even care...maybe he didn't notice. When I say that though, I feel strongly that I'm deluding myself. I have to make it right then, b/c it eats away @ me...and I don't want to lose him or his respect. It'a a very torturing situation. This boy is making me suffer. I figure either way whatever is meant to happen will... all I can do is try my best. This applies to everything too, you know.
Lovem CAT xXx