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Monday, Jul. 14, 2003, 9:39 a.m.: questions...

I got into a near fatal fire battle with my mother this morning. I couldn't stay a/r to discuss the issue any longer than I did, b/c I knew I was going to blow @ some point. I get very touchy when I feel as if she is meddling in my life. She started asking me questions this morning a/b things that had some direct relation to M.R. I already hate the general questions, but this was getting deeper. I tried to remain calm a/b it and talk civilized, until this one particular question/statement came out of her mouth. It had to do with certain religious beliefs and the idea that those of this religion are free to keep as many spouses as they wish. In the first place, I took this as a totally ignorant question and sort of laughed @ it. Then it started to burn me inside. The fact that she was sitting there and staring @ me with this sort of smirk hiding under her face didn't help either. She didn't even get her facts from anyone who knew what they were talking a/b...@ least I didn't think she did. So, I had to leave b/f the fire inside burned so hot that I would erupt from every orfice in my body. I just asked M.R. to enlighten me a/b this particular fact himself. He still hasn't gotten back to me. It's something that I not only want to know for information purposes, but b/c if this shit IS true then I need to seriously withdraw my emotions from a potentially dangerous situation. Sometimes things seem so clear again and your future opens up like the sky or like you're over-looking a beautiful ocean...and then a monsoon hits or it starts hailing and you're stuck in this massive storm just trying to survive the horrors that mother earth can throw up @ you. A tad discouraging. Of course, I am queen of melo-dramatic.

I do have more info, but I'll have to get back to it. I'm saving this news as a mental pick-me-up.

Love, CAT xXx