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Friday, Jun. 20, 2003, 10:19 a.m.: trying to enjoy the day...

Nope...sorry peoples, I am not off in LA soaking up fame and fortune yet. Lots has been going on that's kept me away from my oh so comforting diary. We moved locations Friday and it's been pretty hectic trying to get everything in place. I'd say that by Monday we'll have shit running smoothly again. I'm loving my new space though b/c I've got 2 massive sized windows beside me. Besides the fact that early in the morning the sun glares on my computer screen, and I can't see what I'm doing, I've got heat beaming on me all day long. Change of atmosphere is so great...it makes eevrything seem so exciting! When I look to my right all I see is open field and a bright blue sky with only a few white fluffy clouds...it's pretty fucking amazing!!! What would make it even cooler is if I had a couple horses waiting for me, so that on my breaks I could take off and go riding. It looks like the field goes on forever.

Anyways, other than that...we're talking a/b this new part I may get. If I score it I get to go to NY for 2 weeks to shoot. I'm crossing my fingers for it, but I may have made a bratty impression on the dircetor when I went in for the reading with everyone. I was just having fun b/c I knew alot of the people that where there to read. Whatever, I don't have to make excuses...whatever happens will happen. I'm still crossing my fingers though! I scored another part too, so already I have one more credit to add to the resume. By the end of the summer I want to have a package ready, with my work, to send out to potential agents. I've probably said this a thousand times already but I need to keep reminding myself so that I don't slack on it.

I was completely pissed this morning. I went by my parents place to check my e-mails and bumped into my mother. Since we've been getting along lately I actually stop to chat now. Of course, the dumb bitch [excuse my language] uses our bonding moments as a chance to try to stick me with her stupid ideas re: who to date. First rule with me is that nobody can ever tell me who to have any kind of feelings for. I mean, for fuck sakes, obviously if I want someone I'll go and fucking get them my damn self. I never have and never will ask her to hook me up with anybody. Actually let me modify this here...nobody can tell me EVER what to fucking do! She has not learned this a/b me yet, or is not willing to acknowledge, and I snap everytime b/c it's a total lack of respect on her part. My emotions are to be handled with care!!! It's a really sensitve area for me...I cannot deny that. I get really worked up when she tries to put her two cents in a/b certain guys that she thinks are good for me. She doesn't even know ME, let alone what or who is good for me. Well, I'm feeling better now so I can get off it. Let's just enjoy the weather today.

Love, CAT xXx