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Tuesday, May. 13, 2003, 9:17 a.m.: perfection...

Another great audition day yesterday!!! I left here @ a/r 11:30 for my 12pm time slot. M.R. was booked for a little a/f me. The director was almost 45 mins late and he had a group of a/b 15-20 people waiting for him. I was getting pissed b/c I had another audition to get to and I had no time to wait for this guy. I was ready to leave if I hadn't gotten in in time. Once he got there, they were a/b to let people in by means of a 'first come first serve' basis. I mentioned that I had the first slot booked [so the e-mail said] and I went in right away. 20 mins later and a/f a shit load of seducing [my character was to seduce the guy she's meeting] with no script to look @, I was done. I had me this director Friday night, so I was slightly familiar with him. It's probably why I didn't feel odd a/b doing what I had to do. I mean, normally you don't have to sit on the director's lap to simulate a shot, ya know. M.R. got in a/f me and spoke to the director for a bit. He didn't even audition, they just went over which part he would get. A/f that he drove me over to the other audition [we were both scheduled in side by side slots]. That one was fucking amazing! I had to play this junkie girl who goes begging to her dealer. The responses came flooding back to me like crazy...I was shaking and had little body twiches that I was trying desperately to control. Then the character turns into the total opposite @ the end of the story and blows everyone away. I had so much fun doing it!!! There were two other people watching me, cause they were looking for talent for their production. When I finished and left, one of the girls came running a/f me and asked for my contact info. I was like, 'yea for sure!'. I kicked ass and I was in ecstacy. Not only is the work coming my way, fast and in hoards with loads of respect, but the most awesome guy in the world is also by my side. So then M.R. and me walked a/r a bit, he treated me like his Queen, and then dropped me @ my car. He is totally melting my heart more and more each day. He has to be mine soon...deep down I know he already is. We have the power to heal and break each other and that is what makes it right.

Tonight I'm heading to see the Chili Peppers!!!! Crazy fucking excited a/b that, let me tell you!!! I'm going to meet a girlfriend downtown, we're going to go out to eat and then to the concert. It is going to kick killer ass! I will be in heaven all night long. If only I had 'you know who', to top my night off, it would be perfect. But, we'll leave perfection for another day.

I e-mailed the director yesterday and told him that I could no longer work for him. With my girls being busy, with his lack of dedication to the project and with my own busy schedule...it's just NOT possible. He got back to me right away, telling me how I was 'killing him with the news'. It's nice to see them come running fast as hell when you say you're NOT going to do something, but when you're more than willing they dick you a/r forever. I figure that I will no longer do anything for free. THIS especially was taking up way too much of my time, with no guaranteed reward in the end. I must be much more picky in this business, and that's just the end of it. He will not get my free time anymore. I can spend my precious time on more important projects!

Love, CAT xXx