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Wednesday, Mar. 12, 2003, 10:18 a.m.: sometimes it's just shit...

Holy shit! My morning was filled with god damn phone calls. I hate when I have too much going on that I can't take care of it all. Hasn't happened yet! I got a great rest last night finally...for my body that is. I think my brain was starting to shut down, cause I had nothing useful to say to anyone by 10pm.

I had this dream too last night, where I was siting on this dock with my girlfriend (the one in Portugal) and it broke and we started to fall in. Then some kid from my childhood ended up in the water and helped me out. I don't know what became of my girlfriend cause I woke up. I don't like when my dreams have no ending. I also remember walking through all these yards, of all these homes...really old country homes that were set up really close together. I could walk in the front door and then out the side door and I was in someone elses yard. The whole time all the doors were opened but I felt like I was doing something wrong...like I wasn't suppose to be there. Well, I probably wasn't! Speaking of my girlfriend though, I got her to call me here @ work and told her a/b the wife calling me up. Turns out she's coming back for a bit this Thursday and we're going to go out for dinner and talk. I've gotten to the point where I really don't know who to believe and have decided not to waste anymore time on the issue. It's not my life and I'm not the one living it...all I can do is be there for my good friend as much as I can. It sucks though, b/c my trust level for her has diminished...and that's a hard thing for me to get back. It's obvious that she didn't trust me enough to confide in me and that speaks for itself really...in a couple of different ways.

I'm completely loving the track 'Clocks' by Cold Play. I really like this band. It sort sounds like he ripped off a Moby tune though. Even the video looks that way. I've got an audition to head out to tonight. I thought I could take the rest of the night off, a/f the gym and finish my laundry, and relax my brain...but I have to be somewhere for 9pm. I was bailing on my Theatre rehearsal tonight b/c I figured that they could do w/o me on the first night of rehearsals, and now I've got more shit to do. Oh vell...whatever.

Love, CAT xXx