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Wednesday, Feb. 05, 2003, 9:29 a.m.: @ ease, kind of...

I feel, today, like I didn't get enough sleep yesterday night...and I didn't. I woke up @ 5am for some reason and couldn't fall back asleep till 7am (which is the time I usually get up), on and off till 7:45am. Sucks! I felt so wired and there was lots of shit running through my mind. Wasted energy, I know. I have huge black circles under my eyes this morning and I look like utter shit. I feel so much better a/b the message my ex sent me. I went out with 'nsnb' (we saw a play together) and he totally put me @ ease and even made me laugh a/b it. It's so strange that when I'm out with him the whole world almost disapears a/r me. It's like when I talk to him and he talks to me, it's only us and nobody else. It's very cool! I always have such a good time when we're together. The play was really good too...very funny. They even showed us this guy's dick, right @ the end. It was hilarious and it made all the old women let out a yelp. I mean, the nudity was completely un-called for, but what the hell!

Tonight I've got another script reading for the new play I'm in. Oh, and I found out yesterday that the next film I'm in has been re-written and I am no longer in the closing scene. Sucks shit! I was pissed cause I wanted to be in the finale too. The director post-ponned filming b/c he lost his lead chick. I bet the new girl he got asked him to re-write the ending so that she's in it instead of me. She had so much pull too cause he was in dire need of a lead, when the other one bailed. Whatever. I'm asuming and analyzing. And the director for the dance sequence did end up calling me and telling me that he wants to see the dance. Now I have to scramble again to finish teaching it to the two last girls. This business is completely un-predictable! It's really fun but so chaotic that it can drive you batty. I've gotta make sure I keep really healthy. Which brings me to my next point, 'the gym'. I don't think I can go tonight b/c of all the shit I have to do a/f work and b/c I'm still not feeling 100%. I don't want to fuck myself up more so. I did manage to pick the 'head-shot' that I'm going to reproduce and send out to agents. I've gotta get on that shit right away.