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Tuesday, Dec. 17, 2002, 9:06 a.m.: pussy cat...

HaHa!! I started my dance. I've got the story line down, I have the first bar choreographed, and I have the whole idea (or concept) for the rest of it. I just kept playing the song over and over and I began picturing what was happening in the dance. Once I had the first part done the rest was just flowing into my mind like water. Tonight I'm going to take a class to get into the dancing aspect more and then I'll finish it tomorrow. There is a process I have to go through, for everything, to get into gear...that's what I've been noticing a/b myself. In the past I use to just let it fly out of me, but if I let it ferment a bit and develop a clear picture of what I want to do...things go so much more smoothly. I have too much crazy or unharnessed energy, that I need an outline to place it in.

So we never got the 10 cm that they were predicting yesterday. I'm very happy a/b that one. It's so damn cold out right now that you can get frost bite from standing in the cold for 20 mins...I'm sure. X-Mas is approaching fast. I got all my cards stamped, but I forgot to drop them in the mail this morning. If I don't get them out today, everyone's going to be getting late fucking X-Mas cards. Not cool, so not gonna happen.

I went out b/f my vocal lesson and bought a couple more books. I'm on this Vampire kick right now. The whole immortal soul thing, wandering in a world of lost souls really appeals to me. I feel like that almost every day I'm a/r people. It's quite tragic, but so beautiful b/c there are those like me. When I find them we become great friends and it doesn't feel so bad anymore. There aren't many who truly relate to my mind (or I to theirs), but when we do it's an eruption of the senses...it's so amazing. I was sounding pretty fucked @ first during my lesson. I was getting so pissed cause I didn't know what was wrong with me. We had to switch exercises and then it got better. My voice was all caught in my throat @ first...it was driving me mad.

My kitty is in crazy mode right now. All he does is run and jump a/r, biting @ my feet, scartching the shit out of my arms. I bought him a scratching post which he hasn't even noticed yet. I keep putting him on it, scratching his nails into it...but nope. It's a no go right now. I hope he gets over this psycho stage soon. I keep wondering if it's my energy that makes him this wasy cause when other people are a/r he's not the same. Oh, and I managed to cut his claws too...that was a challenge and a half. I bought a camera so that I could get alot of shots of him as a little thing, cause I know he's going to grow up too fast. B/f I know it he'll be a monstrosity. Maximus the great. I think my Grandmother is taking to him more and more. I think I may have to leave him there for her if she really wnats him...but only if she really wants him.