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Friday, Nov. 22, 2002, 9:05 a.m.: I'm a little fucked...

Well, what a waste yesterday night was! I went down and found literally no fucking dancers that I could use. On top of that the instructor was injured and so she couldn't full out do her routine for us. So the class lacked energy, direction, and guidance. Yes, that is what a class needs. I was pissed. Mind you, the class a/f was filled with people and I was even more pissed cause I couldn't stay to check more girls out. So I'm going to have to call buddy and tell him that I only have 5 as of now. Fuck, what else can I do. I'm heading down again Saturday so we'll see who I can grab then. And I'm sure I'll find some poepl @ the Sudnay workshop. Fucking stress me out and for what?! And why the hell am I so worried a/b pleasing this guy? Why the fuck do I care? Shit.

I went out X-mas shopping a/f that for a/b 45 mins. That's all that was left for store hours. I bought my Grandmother a toaster. She broke hers a couple weeks ago, so I figure she can use this. Does that sound impersonal? I want to pick something else upfor her too, but for starters this is good. I should really start writing out a list so that I'm more organized. I've just been going to the mall every now and then and picking shit up for peole along the way. So far I've got alot of stuff for people. The main people I have to think a/b is my sister and my parents.

My body is feeling better today, but you can totally see the pain in my eyes. I have these huge black circles cause my body has not been resting perfectly. Never mind, a/f the class yesterday I was starving to death cause I hadn't eaten since lunch. I was practically dragging my body through the mall. My friend brought me some candy to munch on, from her store, so that I wouldn't pass out b/f I got food. Then I buy this pizza sub and can't even finish it cause my stomach felt like it had shrunk. I hate when that happens!

Okay, so besides the fact that I am still freaking, underneathe, a/b these stupid dancers...I'm going to drop by this get-together tonight where I may find a couple. Only thing with that is I don't know how they dance and that limits my choice. FUCK! FUCK! Seriously now, I'm getting fucking angry. Oh, and guess what else? I think it's going to snow again today. Yea, I know fuck, I can't do anything a/b that one...or...can I?

Oh, and I hope my shoot tonight goes well.