Thursday, Nov. 21, 2002, 10:06 a.m.: the moon and shit...
The full moon, yesterday, made the boys a/r me react like swarming hornets. It was very amusing to watch. 'Not so new boy', who is my favorite, wasn't affected in the same way. He's been tapped into on a different level. I'm much more into his level. I want him to be mine. I don't know, but something a/b salivating dogs ready to lick my leg doesn't quite attract me the way he does. Even though under all that 'together' persona I sense this really soft loving boy. He smells yummy enough to eat to me. I want all of him...every god damn part of his being. Yes I do.
Everything's been set for the shoot this Friday. It's cool cause I don't really have to stay very long on Sunday and I can make it to both my cousin's b-day and to my dance workshop. I'm very happy and excited a/b that. I'm hoping to hook up with the instructor's dance troop, so that I can get jobs dancing too. I mean, I love to dance it's just so deep in my being that I can't get away from it. Hoping, hoping!!!
This weekend I'm booked for 2 aditions. Finally! Until I get my head shots done, I can't submit to any other audition sites. So I'm kinda limited right now. Boo-Hoo... It's not bothering me too much @ the moment, cause I know as soon as I start getting out to them, I'm going to be swamped. Somehow, someway I can sub-consciously plan and organize my schedule w/o it interfearing to much with my stress factor. It's a great coping technique that I must have picked up somewhere. I like it cause I tend to become obsessed with things and it diverts my whole attention to a perceived goal or purpose, so if I spread it out (many different obsessions) I can bring forward and back each one when I need to worry a/b it. If that doesn't amke any sense...fuck, it makes plenty sense to me.
Love, CAT XXX