2002-09-30, 10:25 a.m.: new appreciation...

Went to an amusement park on Saturday. I felt like I was 12 again. It was great!! I just never remembered my head banging a/r so much on the rides. I was literally nauseous @ one point and I had to stop riding the roller coasters. Also the fact that the accident did some damage to my muscles in my back, these rides were not fucking helping. So we retired to the games and fucked a/r on them for a while. It got to a point where everyone had won something except for me. Then I won 'animal'. My cutie. As soon as I got there, in the morning, I bought a jester hat and put it on hold, so that I didn't have to walk a/r with it. Well, when I went back to pick it up @ the end of the day the dumb bitch had sold it. I mean, how stupid can you be?! It's in a bag with a recepit. That's gotta be some kinda clue eh? Stupid child! So instead of getting MY black and red one, I got a yellow and black one. How stupid am I going to look now as a yellow and black jester? I might as well dress up as a bumble bee!! Anyways, I'll try to make it a sexy outfit...fuck it.

I had a crazy dream on Friday night. I was dying of a terminal illness and I had a short time to live. I was so aware of this in my dream it was creepy. I had a continuation to it where I was running trying to find this girl while @ the same time escape the wrath of some fucked up guy. I managed to get out of this underground tunnel and I was in the clear when all of a sudden and army of people stood up and I saw that I was surrounded. The terminal illness gave me an element of no fear and it was great...but I woke up. When I got up, I didn't know where I was or what day it was, and I was in such a good mood. I couldn't believe how happy I was. I went to the amusement park and was still hyper @ night when everyone else was tired. I attributed it to my dream and feeling of death. I appreciated life so much more a/f that. It's like fuck the small shit. Really focus on the big picture and enjoy the time you have with those you love and stuff. What the fuck is wrong with people or me sometimes, for that matter?! I think everyone should have a dream like that.

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