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2002-08-27, 8:59 a.m.: domination and submission...

We did, however, get tickets for 'Cirque' for Sept 6th. It's been sold out for weeks too, so we lucked out. This will be my second time seeing it. I'm pretty excited!

I've decided to put to use my ability to say goodbye and go on. I've done it so much in the last year. Whether it's a person, a place, a thing...it's been a mad rush of things. In the past I always held on so tightly to things and it only caused me more heart ache than I needed. The easier I can let go, the easier it is for me emotionally to deal with it...to put it in persepctive, really. That's the conclusion I've come to. If you look @ it, what's meant to be will eventually come back to you...so it's a win win situation. I need to look @ things from a distance to clearly evaluate them, when they involve me. This is not to say that I will hold everyone I meet @ a safe distance, cause that's no fun @ all. Just when it's time to go, it's time to go and that's it. I feel I'm on this quest of self discovery. Every day I learn something new a/b myself and I choose to accept it (if I like it) or not and change it (if I don't like it). Balance is the key...in everything.

I'm going to see 'new boy' nuumber 1 tomorrow. I want to fuck his energy right out of him and into me. I just want to swallow him up. I think he's going to taste SO good. I get this crazy vibe from him...like he's got some serious darkness lurking a/r inside him. The kinky kind that wants to dominate. If I'm right, I like it...ALOT. @ the same time I see another side of him that's opposite, where I can enjoy my dominant side with him. I said b/f that he reminds me of me...it's like the equal balance of yin and yang constantly flowing in and out. I had that impression from the first time we met and so far I've been proven right. I mean, like so many times b/f I never put it into words, but now when I do...that's how it comes out. Really, I just want him to tie me up and ravish me...haha. Yes I do, yes I do. I think it's going to start the other way though. *wink*