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2002-07-10, 9:00 a.m.: it feels good today...

My class went okay. I did shit on my scene. I didn't get the whole idea of what was happening @ all, and so when I read it it didn't sound believable. My teacher didn't scream or give me shit this week, but my scene sucked. I need to read more plays and get familiar with readings and then I'll be quicker to pick up the story and background. 'It's okay, baby steps.' is what she told me, and for the first time in my life I could agree with that one. I have to be patient in learning...take my time and get it right. I didn't end up doing my monologue b/c I hadn't gotten her book and picked the one I want to do, but by next week I'll have it.

I was talking to a girl in the class whose a bartender @ a strip joint. I'm going to go in with her next week to see if I can get a part-time job there. She said it's better to be a bar tender, b/c the shooter girls have to walk a/r talking to all the guys and play the I really like you thing. So yea, I'd rather be a bar tender for sure. I lik to be honest in my approach to things, and that just wouldn't fly with me. It would be great if we worked together, I like her alot. You get to wear a cute little outfit too. Okay, fuck it's a strip joint. Of course you get to wear a cute litle outfit.

I was thinking, you know, a/b the new guy. I mean I adore him. I think he's great...extremely talented, beautiful, insightful, sensitive, funny, supportive, honest...all that good shit. I can see or I should say I feel his bad sides, but they don't bother me b/c most of them are similar to mine and that just makes for an exciting and interesting union...but, he's in N.Y. and you know, he may not even come back here for good. To be really selfish I'm going to say I hope he does come back here, spends some more time in T.O. with me. We can work together and go to auditions together and learn from each other and just have a great relationship, for the time being. Really, that's what I hope will happen. Then to be totally unselfish, I'd be happy if he got work down there and had to stay there for good. I didn't say I'd like it, but I'd be happy for him anyways. Well, let's leave it in the hands of fate, or destiny as some call it. Oh how I wish I could control the outcome of everything. I guess it wouldn't be any fun though if I could, and that's not cool. So, we can scrap that one.

It's really nice out today. The weather is perfect, not too humid and a little bit of a breeze. I wish I could be outside with nature.