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2002-05-16, 8:49 a.m.: must cut these claws...

Was I cheering too soon? I think so. RAIN. I still feel good though, feeling confident and hopeful for the future. I try to keep a positive outlook on things, for obvious reasons. I mean there are definately times when I feel like such utter shit that it's hard to hope and have faith in anything, but most of the time I'm o.k.

There's this guy outside my window doing the garden. Shitty, cause it's raining on his head. I wonder...it must be fun to work out in nature all the time. He must get such a high off it, breathing in all the flowers and the oxygen that they emit.

I think it's time to cover these birds again. A couple days ago they were so abnoxiously annoying, that instead of popping their heads off, I took a garbage bag and wrapped it a/r the cage. Two big black ones did it, and they shut the fuck up. Our neighbors must think I'm over here abusing them. I'm always screaming @ them in an attempt to shut their traps. FUCK!*goes and covers birds in garbage bag* That's better. I mean they are a serious hinderance to my mental sanity. Who the fuck wants to hear these things chirping like mad, first thing in the morning?!

Had rehearsal yesterday. I got a little nervous in the beginning cause I didn't know my lines. I have to know them for the next one. This play has alot of commotion and it's very fast so you really have to listen to what everyone is saying. I WILL know them for next week...that's a promise.

My nails are so long right now. I don't know how they got THIS long, but I HAVE to cut them. I don't really like long nails. I use to when I was little and all the women I knew had beautiful long painted nails. Now though, it's just a pain in the ass to keep long nails. You can't do anything. Short, that's how I like 'em. I'm pretty good @ shaping them, my own that is, so I just have to get to work a/f I finish this entry here. Even typing is hard...you miss the keys ALL the time.

O.K. I had a 'Bruce Willis' dream yesterday. I have no clue where he came from, but I like Brucey. We were naked and there was alot of action going on. Yeah, a little sexual action...he was spanking my ass and asking me to spank him. But then it burst into this get-away scene, fully equipt with gun fire and the whole love scene where your boy saves you and you're running away from the bad guys. We got caught though and for some reason they let me live and they took Bruce somewhere. Maybe he gave up his life for me or some shit, I don't know. From spanking to self sacrfice...great dream eh?

I am trying so hard not to touch my face. As soon as I get my hands near my face I start to pick @ it. It ends up looking like a battle ground, so I'm attempting to control my picking habit. I just end up gashing it up and then scarring it, so this is the answer I'm sure. The cut nails should help a tad too.

Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.