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2002-05-08, 9:47 a.m.: I can't believe...

Oh shit! I lost it. My body decided to give way on me, and while I'm not feeling deathly ill right now...I am weak as hell. My head is killing me, my eyes hurt, my ears hurt, my body is sore and my throat is kinda sore. The weather has been changing so much and it's hard to keep up with the right clothes to wear. I'm just going to over-dress from now on, cause I value my health and my ability to get things done too much. I'm feeling very run down @ the moment. I just want to fucking go to sleep.

Can I just tell you how useless birds as pets are. They are the most fucking annoying creatures to have a/r you all day. They give no sense of comfort when you feel like shit and their constant chirping is enough to send you to the loony bin. I just want to squish all their little heads and shut them up for good. They are really driving me insane here. I mean, I can handle it when I'm of sane body and mind, but when I'm not I cannot take this shit!!!

I'm totally ahating my co-worker right now. Why is it that everybody thinks that they know more than everyone else? I mean what ever happened to equality between people. I hate talking to someone who doesn't listen to what I am saying or who interupts. How fucking rude is that?! It pisses the fuck out of me. I can't be bothered with ignorant fucks like that who thinks that their voice is the know all end all. Especially when it comes from someone who stresses over every little thing, gets angry over anything that is different, and can't even be civilized to customers. Don't fucking tell me shit, cause I don't fucking respect you anymore and I wont listen. Fuck!! I am so sick of some people. See, when I'm in a good mood it's funny, cause you can hardly believe some of the shit that you hear...but when I'm not in a good mind set...I want to punch you in the face cause you have no respect or courtesy. Then it amkes me rude back...just to play your game better. People who still need to learn @ the age of 37 a/b respect and courtesy should just be shot. That's something you learn in kindergarden, fuck. Corner for you bitch!! Face the fucking wall and shut your mouth until you grow up!!

In other news...my ex friend left me a message telling me she wants to talk to me, cause she's been thinking a/b what I said to her. Fuck, what the fuck is up with that!! A week later she leaves me a message (which she probably rehearsed for the whole week) telling me she wants to talk. She should have talked when I was speaking to her...not a week later when she's had time to mull it in her head and come up with her lame ass interpretation as a defense to what I spit out. I really don't wnat to deal with this, b/c for all the chances I gave her...it ain't that easy to get back that quickly. I would have liked an apology right then and there, but it probably wouldn't have changed much @ this time. I've worn myself out being the forgiver for those who don't deserve it...she does not deserve it. If you truly deserve it by all means, I'll give it to you. But fuck right off if you're just some superficial bitch cunt who sees me as an answer to your problems. I don't like it when people put that much emotional need or pressure on me. If it's not directly put on me, fine. I'm probably sounding fucking awful right now and this doesn't apply to those who are loyal. I have high standards, so what. Why shouldn't I. Ahhhhhhhh!! I just can't believe she called me, as if this wasn't serious, or I wasn't serious. That bitch needs to learn that I take my well being seriously. How disrespectful.

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