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2002-05-07, 10:03 a.m.: what a day...

The craft of acting in very similar to that of dancing and singing. There is a story to be told and through the body of the performer it is done. Acting and singing and dancing give very different feelings to the performer though...well, for me @ least. When I'm acting I don't notice anything a/r me except for the character I'm playing to. When I re-did the scene it was just me and the girl I was doing it with...as if I was in this bubble and nothing else existed. It was very intimate on an emotional level b/c there is a constant give and take going on. Now singing is very intimate in a group like setting...like an orgy. You are very aware of everyone a/r you and it is the audience who gives you your adrenaline rush and you who returns it to them or vica versa. It makes me wet. Dancing I think can be very selfish because there is usually no interaction, unless in a duo or group, and it's very self-centered. The audience is left to take what they want from you and although you are dancing for them...it's really for yourself in yourself. Actually that's slightly inacurate b/s as a group you are very invloved in making the performance like one movement. They are all so amazing though. I'm so entranced by each one of them.

As you can see I am in a great mood today. I wrote so much yesterday a/f my first diary entry and then I had my class @ night. It's very cathartic to let all your emotions flow from you...it's euphoric and it gives me the same feeling that working out does. My energy needs to expended in a positive way. I want to create, I don't want to destroy...and if I let the energy release negatively that's all I fucking do. It's shitty as shit out today and I still feel good.

Tonight I'm going to go home and give my boy an amazing blow job. He's going to need it a/f his stressful day. I'll create his pleasure with my pain...cause he deserves it. Then I'll go to the gym and work off any left over tension and tonight we'll see what other fun things we can do. I'm fucking throbbing just thinking a/b it. Until tomorrow boys and girls.