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2002-03-28, 9:05 a.m.: holy fuck I'm freaking out!!!!!!

I'm almost better...one more day and I think it'll be all gone. I booked an appt with the doc cause everyone @ my current home was making me paro. In the past I use to go to the doctors for anything and everything that I thought was wrong with me. That was when I was getting over my drug addiction. I think it was part of the withdrawl symptoms. Now that I'm over that period in my life I don't freak out anymore when I feel somethings up with my body. I've learned to read my body very well and take care of myself however neccessary. I pace myself during my weaker times and push myself when I'm stronger. Of course I went and mentioned that my underarms were sore when I pressed on my lymphnodes and they freaked...in turn freaking me out. I figured fuck, it can't hurt to GO to the docs. The only thing it'll hurt is my paycheck, and my health is more important.

So I talked to my voice instructor and we worked out a deal where I teach an hr long dance workshop @ our scheduled performance dates. She wants to run them once every three months and while she does a voice workshop...I will, a/f her, do a dance workshop. Then we'll eat and perform again after. She even offered me a job teaching classes for her @ night as a part-time thing. She's been thinking of opening up another location and in the new location she wants me to teach and work for her. She was very impressed with my performance and we decided that once my voice has been perfected the sky is the limit for me. I think I've developed a very good partnership here. Eventually when I'm ready she'll showcase me to people she knows in the industry...which is fucking amazing and exciting and crazy. I'm still pretty dazed due to my illness, but this had me freaking out @ work yesterday a/f I hung up with her.

Once I get everything ready @ my apartment me and my boy can start working on music...cause I ain't gonna be anyones puppett...that's for certain. Also...the sun is out today, and it's shinning hot and bright baby...just the way I like it.