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2002-01-18, 9:20 a.m.: a very long day...

Okay so I didn't go to school yesterday. I just have no desire or motivation to go anymore. You know, it's fucked cause I feel guilty a/b slacking off even though I'll be out of there in less than 2 weeks. I may even be slipping into a slump cause I'm starting to feel like I'm not doing anything productive. I'm assuming this will pass when I get started with the class I enrolled in. I've got to find other things to engross myself with or to throw myself into. I always wanted to pose for a sketch class...I think I'm going to look into that for some extra $$ on the side. It would be a great experience and I'd get paid for it too.

My head fucking kills today...I went to a friend's place yesterday and we went to get Burger King late @ night. I ate a poutine and I forgot how shitty I feel in the mornings when I eat too late @ night. So now I am suffering with my feeling of dehydration and my head's pounding.

This work atmosphere is really hard to stand right now. When I was going to school, work didn't feel like it existed...it had a purpose. Now, already I feel as if it's a burden. I've gotta do something a/b this soon. Once I figure out my schedule again I can play a/r with the variables in my life. I just want to go somewhere...I WANT to be productive. I want to accomplish things over and over and over and prove to my family and to myself that there is another way to do this...another way to live and be in this world. B/c if this is all I have then I am going to be one miserable fucking person...and THAT, I WILL NOT have.

I can tell that today is going to be a long day...