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2001-12-17, 9:27 a.m.: childish shit makes me laugh...

I woke up late this morning. I don't know what happened to my alarm but it stopped @ some point, or I tunred it off @ some point.

I'm brain fried @ the moment so I may not be too clear with this entry. Although I slept so much that you'd think I'd be feeling a little better. No more of these drugs for a long time. I feel like my mentality regresses a year or so.

Friday night was awesome...got fucked and fucked hard. A/f three times I was almost worn out. No need to get into details but it would have made a great porn.

Saturday I took the day off school to finish X-Mas shopping. It was such a luxury to get Saturday to just wander around and enjoy the atmosphere. I don't like big rowds, not b/c I'm claustorphobic, but b/c people are always in your way. I made it out alive and I am now finished all my shopping.

That night was the big fiasco @ T's place. When S and I got to her place. Everything seemed fine, although I sensed some weird shit off her friend who was there helping her set up.Whatever, I gave her her gift, she opened it, and seemed happy. S had brought some wine and we opened it and went down to wait for everyone. We sat @ the bar and drank and talked until T and some other girls came down. The whole time it seemd like T was discussing the night a little TOO much. Her speech was all forced-talking a/b how she didn't know where they'd end up, etc, ect, but how it was going to be soooo much fun. Once I saw that all she was talking a/b was their night out (purposely)...I turned to S and began our own conversation since I really had no input into theirs. That one didn't work for her. Later, she pulled out all her tickets and starts naming off everyone and passing out the tickets...which I found strange since once again this just singles us out of the night. So I made a sarcastic comment to her and she shut up. One of the girls asked where our tickets were and I said that we weren't going. We would be @ Systems and hopefully everyone would end up there. Then N, who planned the thing with T, goes...'We're not going there, we're going to It" I fucking look @ her raised eyebrows and go...'Oh, when did you find that out?'...to which she stuttered like a drunk and looked straight @ T...as if she was holding the answer in her hand too with those fucking tickets. T looked right @ me...b/c for the past hour she had been yapping on and on a/b how she didn't know where they were going and shit. That shut her up for the rest of the night. It being her 'b-day' she went and cleaned everything, brought the cake out, etc. Dumb bitch tried to single us out b/c we weren't going to her thing and it ended up biting her in the face...when really she had nothing more to do, she had already singled ME out in the first place. S and I just played our parts...and T was left to wrack her brain over bull-shit, cause if she had mentioned that they would be @ It...maybe we would have thought a/b going there to meet them there.....NOT!!!! A/f all the childish bull shit...we left and went to see BAD BOY BILL......AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! What a rush that guy gives you....only when he spins his usual hardcore, but he was varied yesterday cause he's been changing his style. Either way we had a good time...the club was packed and I met Daphne from 'Queer As Folk". I had seen this girl a couple weekends ago who looked like her, but I wasn't sure. So I went up to her on Saturday and sure enough it was her. She works @ the club...she was really nice and said how se didn't think Brian was hot. Of course I told her I would melt @ his feet if I ever met him. Yeah, dramatic and shit but true.

So now when T decides to call...a/f she's run that night thru her head and decided on what she has to say...I'll tell her why I was pissed in the first place and how her childish fucking games were so sad and uneccesary. Fuck, if you're going to be manipulative a/b it...@ least be smart not stupid.

Right now I have no emotional feeling cause they've all been numbed by the damn drugs I did that night. Recovery time for me now...

CLG aka CAT XXX ;-)~