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2001-11-19, 9:34 a.m.: bad teacher, great fucking...

Hmmmm...o.k. so Friday night I did my performance for my vocal coach. Bam...I got all dressed up with my make-up and shit. She didn't even recognize me, she was very surprised @ what I look like when I'm not just lounging in my comfies w/o make-up. It was really amazing too, the difference an outfit and make-up can make in the way you present yourself. All of a sudden it wasn't work to me anymore...it was so much more fun. Anyways, that's all besides the point...Diana was extremely impressed. We've got a lot to work on still, but she is my angel, my light @ the end of my tunnel...and I am hers. I was so excited a/f that I could harly speak or scream or anything. Sandra and I went out a/f to eat @ our favorite restaurant to celebrate.

SO Saturdays school/work was alright. My teacher/boss made me do highlights on a chicks hair. I was not impressed with the way she taught me though. I mean it was my first time doing the shit and I didn't fully know the procedure or the product knowledge and shit, and I'm doing this broads hair. On top of that it was a retouch I was doing and she wasn't @ all specific with the proper way to do it. I faked my way through it and felt torn between the bullshit my teacher was telling me and what my client was asking me. She tipped me $5 in the end which was good. On top of all that my teacher tryied to enlighten me in the end by telling me I have to be more agressive. More agressive? Agressive with what, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing and she isn't any help with answering my questions honestly. I want knowledge in something b/f I go spitting my mouth off. In the end I asked around and found that half the shit I was saying to the broad was crap anyways. Honest mistake though...I want to care a/b my clients hair, not just be a greedy fuck. O.k. she's a great business woman and for that I will learn what I can, but as far as hair goes I'm going to have to come up with another way to gain the proper knowledge in that area.

I forgot to add this-I was telling my client a/b some of the issues I have, whether compulsive, neurotic, etc and it turned out she was a psychotherapist. I was like, great just my fucking luck. As I worked on her more it turned out that she was more neurotic than I was, even when putting all my issues together. @ one point I felt like she was trying to sell me sessions, cause she kept tel;ling me that all my problems will get worse. I was thinking, fuck whatever, and I proceeded to explain to her the things I do to stop me from myself. SHe was impressed with my coping strategies...I couldn't let her get away with telling me that I will only get worse as I age...Fuck that!

A/f that fiasco I met up with my ex and we went to see Harry Potter. OH MY GAWD!! It was fucking amazing and I might be slightly biased on this but I don't give a flying fuck. He like it too and he was very skeptical a/b how good it was going to be. We had a good night, rented room a/f and had amazing sex. Finally passed out @ 4 in the morning...had a nice morning fuck that he initiated, went to luch and then went our seperate ways. He was excited a/b my news and totally suportive a/b it too...obviously. We missed the meteor showers that were going on all mornign, but it was cloudy out so we couldn't see anything. We watched it on T.V instead. I like ebing with him, but I the thing I hate is that I get so mind fucked a/r him. All of a sudden I'm this indecisive mind boggled entity. I start out fine and then slowly I descend into a mind of mush. I can't figure right from left, up from down...it can get really irritating. I'm on this mission to firmly set my mind in stone, well maybe in plastercine (the kind that hardens but is still pliable, so that I'm still open minded).

Sunday I took my little sis X-Mas shopping for everyone. She brought 90.00 and we managed to get all 9 people something for that exact amt...well, 90.76 to be exact. She was so happy. She's a great kid with a very strong mind, I love that a/b her and she's only 7. I hope she always stays confident in who she is.

So a/f everything, including a stop over @ my friends nieces Christening, I went home to relax my body and prepare for this week.

Guess what's on tonight?? Common, you know...my favorite...

'Queer as Folk' - now I can drool over Brian and go to sleep with fantasies of him swirling in my mind.

CLG aka CAT XXX ;-)~