Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2003, 1:10 p.m.: bad to worse to good again...

The situation is going from bad to worse over here. My Uncle, who was suppose to be working for my Dad, is hooked on drugs again. We all knew he was an alcoholic, although we never knew how bad of an alcholic he really was untilhe moved back to the city. But now, we find that he's gotten back into some pretty hard-core drugs again that are quickly ruining him more so than he already is. In the matter of a week he's been busted by the cops for driving under the influence, had his car impounded, been thrown out of coffee shops for harassing customers early in the mornings all fucked up. Now, he's starting to threaten my Dad b/c he is refusing to help him out anymore. I'm worried though @ what state he is in mentally b/c when he was talking to me he was literally delusional. Now I hear he's starting to threaten my Dad!! I mean, he's borderline lost his mind already...who knows what he'll do/! I just can't believe the fucking nerve of him!!! My Father has helped him out his whole useless life and he has NO appreciation for anything!! I know he's got a sickness and a disease but so what?! We are all fucked up and we all have to deal with pain and suffering...who the fuck is he to think he's any god damn different than the rest of us!!! That he can drink and shoot his life away and nobody else will be affected by him. I'm really fucking angry @ him!!! What a fuck! I really hope something happens to him that lands him in jail so that he can't hurt anybody else. He's a walking hazard.

I still have gotten no responses from any agents, but I feel alot better a/b the whole rejection thing today. 'The boy' made me feel so much better yesterday a/b it. He's a really supportive person...kinda boggles the mind a bit. Class last night went really well too. I was not looking forward to it but my teacher renewed my respect in him again...out of the blue. He is always changiong a/r his teaching environment in order to get the best response out of his students and it never ceases to amaze me. I'm not going to be able to start up with him again though for a while. I want to broaden my horizon's a bit...add some new names to my resume. Then I'll go back.

Love, CAT xXx