2002-07-18, 9:49 a.m.: still pissed with a glimmer of hope...

Today I am pretty much fed up with everything. My aunts cat, who I've been taking care of while she's away, has stopped taking his pills. SHe managed to trick him into eating them by feeding it to him with some 'pounce', but no...not any more. Fucking bugger got smart a/b it and now leaves the pills. So, this totally pisses me off even more b/c now I have to crush his pills into his food, and now he wont eat his food. This cat is seriously getting on my nerves. He's 19 years old and still kicking, but a total pain in the ass. I keep telling him to be mad @ his mommy and daddy for leaving him here while they go away for a week. I can't let him out for very long either, which I'm sure sucks shit for him...but what can I do.

I got a call yesterday from my ex's mother. She called to let me know that she understood where I was coming from in our break-up. She also told me that she can't just forget me since we spent so much time together. If there was one thing that kept me sane most of the time throughout that relationship...it was her. She had a similar experience with her first husband who is my ex's real father. She says they have the exact same mentality and his personality is showing up more and more throughout the years. I just hope it doesn't continue b/c he's heading down the wrong road if it does. Apparently he flipped out on all of them the day he went home, and he's been depressed and distant ever since. Personally I think he's just using it as a pity tactic. Just another excuse to delay his life a little longer and wallow in his sorrows. I hope he gets it together cause I do love him very much.

I bumped into this guy @ my gym, who I use to go to school with. Talk a/b high school reunions. Anyways, he opened up a recording studio in the upper level of my gym and is going to be filming stunts for movies and commercials and shit there. He said he's doing one for my gym and told me to come out to it. He worked as a stunt guy for movies and he's part of the actors union here. He told me what I had to o to get in and I was shocked @ how easy it was to get my foot in the door. Always a nice treat when something ends up easier than you had anticipated. That put me in good spirits again. I have to seriously consider giving my landlord notice of me leaving by the end of this month. I may...and I stress may here...have a place with a girl whose looking for a roommate. She's got a 2 bedroom and it sounds perfect, but again we all know how everything 'sounds' perfect. Still though, I'm praying. I've gotta get out of it now cause otherwise I lose my deposit and I'm screwed. It will be too hard to come up with the amount to move places, you know with first and last and all that shit. I also have to plaster the holes in my wall cause I've got way too many of them...it doesn't look good. I've got lots and lots to do...

Love, CAT XXX