Monday, Feb. 07, 2005, 3:13 p.m.: home...
Had another lovely weekend! It started early for me tho. I started sleeping @ his place Thursday night, so I got to lay in his arms for 4 days straight. I cannot wait until we will be moved in together for good. I never realized but it's such a difference when I wake up with him, as opposed to waking up alone. Who knew?! Friday we did our usual radio show. He has a new co-host now. They went out and found this Persian girl, pretty too. It sucks, having to watch your man interact with some other woman. I hate it, but I tried to keep my head a/b the situation...after all, it's work. They haven't meshed properly yet tho, she seems to be struggling for power with him a bit...which could turn out to be a great dynamic or it could end the show all-together. She reminded me alot of this old friend of mine, from high school, that I use to sort of have a crush on. @ one point I was convinced that she was a dyke too. Anyways, I can become very jealous so I think my psyche was doing something funny there...with the whole lesbian thing. The only way for me to counteract jealousy is to flirt with the woman of concern. Of course K being a very jealous person himself was watching me like a hawk...eyeing all my interactions with her, pulling me away whenever we had a moment. It started to fuck with my defense mechanism and I was almost forced to face my insecurity all-together. Well, it ended up errupting into this whole episode. He didn't even know what hit him, or me for that matter. I still feel like a fucking idiot b/c of it. I just hope next weekend I can keep it together better than that.
Saturday we headed out for some auditions. One of them we ended up walking out on b/c it was a fucking porn practically. We read 5 pages and each had somebody without a top or something, or sticking their cock in someone's ass! It was ridiculous. We even specifically asked if there was sexual content involved with our characters and they beat a/r the bush a/b it. Fuck, they could have saved us both the time if they had just been straight a/b their script. We both decided that we would avoid sexual content in films if it made the other un-comfortable. It's strange tho b/c there have been SO many films with sex as the main theme in them lately, especially in comparison to other years I've auditioned for stuff. Fucking ironic.
Other than that, we also did the family thing on Saturday night. We spent alot of time making love. Apparently I am quite the cranky bitch if I haven't had sex to release my tension. K looks @ it like as bonus, b/c he knows that, if I'm stressed, right after we make love I'm relaxed and back to normal. I find it a bit amusing that I'm like that. I do notice the difference in myself after I orgasm, but I never notied that it was such a difference during those times that I'm so wound up. Funny huh?
I think I'm coming down with something. My head has been hurting for 3 days now and it's beginning to feel like the onslaught of a cold. I will be so upset, but I guess I'm due for one soon. I've been so good this winter, but with this sudden change of temperature lately...disease is just festering, waiting to attack. I want to go to the gym tonight but now I'm worried that it will wear me out and make me more susceptible. I'll have to think a/b this one.
Oh, Sunday we checked out some more places, with a VERY incompetant real estate agent. There was one that we really like, but we're still gonna chk for something a bit cheaper. If we can't find anything then this is the one, as long as someone doesn't snatch it up first. It's got a perfect north west view, where you can see the beautiful sunset, 1 bedroom and a den. Really cozy...it felt like home. We have a couple more days to decided, but you should have seen it. We didn't take a pic there b/c the owner was home and we felt weird intruding like that. If I had one, I'd post it up for you. As soon as we do move in tho, wherever we go, I'll post a pic of our new place...of our new home.