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Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2004, 3:42 p.m.: get ready...

So plans are set for this coming weekend. He's booked the hotel, and the rental car, and Saturday night we'll be staying @ his parents place until we leave Sunday afternoon. I don't want to do the 5hr drive @ 10pm again, like we did last time. I had to work in the morning Monday and I felt so bad that K had to drive the whole way, while I slept in the front seat, that I kept waking up to chk if he was okay. @ heart I'm quite the nurturer...it just takes a while for that side to really come out. I decided to take Friday off so that we can get a head start on the weekend. K may have to work for a bit Friday, but I'll probably just run our errands and study until he's done. We have a great night planned for Friday, since it's our anniversary..and a full moon. We'll be in a hotel room so we decided to experiment with some sexual games and stuff...things that we would rather not do @ his place, with his roommates a.r. and the room not 'really' belonging to him. It's going to be fun. Last night was funny. He tried to tie my wrists to the bed with a tie and ended up ripping it in half. We were laughing so hard... I love it when shit like that happens!!!

Tonight we both have a call-back for a short film, where we would play opposite each other. It's going to be fun to see how we interact. I think it will make the scene really come alive b.c of the emotions we have for each other. The chemistry will totally come across and grab the director/casting people. I think it's a good thing, as long as we can stay in the moment and NOT burst out laughing together. He is my abusive husband and I'm his wife who is also a werewolf. Yea, it's one of those films. If I got the role I'd get to wear prosthetics and shit to make me look like a hairy beast, which if done wrong can look like shit. So I hope they know what they're doing.

After the audition we'll be going to see my little sister, @ my parents place, for a visit. We got my ring sized this weekend so that it fits my left finger and now it wont fit my right anymore. So I have to wear it on the correct engagement finger now, which is making our realtionship direction pretty obvious to people who don't know a.b. us...mostly my family. My mother has been bothering the fuck out of me again...trying to turn my attention to guys other than K. I swear tho, if it continues I'm going to really put her in her place. This is getting to the point of totaly disrespect. Today I had to tell her that 'I have a boyfriend who I am happy with and that I'm not interested in anyone else'...and I had to say it with rage building inside of me, b.c I was having trouble controlling my anger. I would like some respect in regards to the decisions I make in my life. I get really pissed off. I've got a short temper with her. Anyways, she invited him for xmas last week...pretending like she was including him in our family thing. I figure she felt she had to b.c. I was going to bring him anyways. This way she feels like she has some sort of control over the whole situation. You know, while I would never change my analytical personality for the world, it does suck sometimes to be so perceptive with everything. Anyways, we'll see how tonight goes. She already saw my ring on my new finger today. I made a point of putting it out there...she really got to me today. I don't have plans of telling them earlier than needed that we are engaged, but a little rubbing of the possibility in their face wont hurt. The shit I have to deal with, in this family. I really just wish that everyone could get along and people could be happy living their own lives and not trying to control [or ruin] mine. Of course, it does serve as some added excitment and hell, makes me really have to fight for what I want...which isn't bad. I always knew that my life up until now was preparing me for something...this is definately one thing it got me ready for.