Tuesday, Jun. 22, 2004, 9:45 a.m.: fuck you...

I'm going to have to do, again, probably one of the hardest things I've ever done, soon enough. I have to walk away from the closest person I have come to know and love. I've been patient and understanding, but I find my heart getting stepped on over and over again. I can't just sit by and watch it happening and then go on pretending like everything is okay. I can't deny my feelings anymore...putting them in a box, for whenever is convenient to him. I find myself coming to this end more and more. It's kinda fucked how many people live in such denial. It's pretty amazing how many I seem to come into contact with. Must be the 'comfort zone' of my home life that always leads me into these fucking whacked out relationships. I can't keep it in any sort of perspective anymore b/c I've been slapped in the face one too many times. I refuse to sit a/r and allow myself to be walked all over, like I did with my ex. It's NOT going to happen again!!

I have to also leave today to do some promo work for my film. Joy. I get to spend two hours with girls I think have a vendetta against me...so much fucking fun. Coincidentally enough, I never got a response to my request to remove a pic from the web-site that I completely am NOT comfortable with. I find it very rude and somewhat amusing that I am being disregarded...AGAIN. I'm not that pissed anymore, just fed up and not impressed. It's going to be another thing I will have to mention today when I see them. How petty that people feel the need to sabotage those they fear are better than them. I guess that's the way the game is played though. It's a good thing I'm highly fucking resilient...and I don't forget very easily either. It may take a while for me to take my revenge, sweet as it may be, but it will sting just the same. Mind you, I also haven't been able to access the site from work here, so I may be jumping the gun...b/c if the picture HAS been changed, then oopps, my bad.