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Friday, Mar. 12, 2004, 9:37 a.m.: dance...

Well it's back down to zero degrees today. Wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to walk, to the coffee, shop this morning while my car was getting an oil change. Fuck, I felt like my ears were going to fall off!! I love sitting in places by myself where I can just listen to what conversations people are having a/r me. Today it was conspiracy theories a/b the death of Di and spytech telescopes and shit. It's weird listening to random people discussing this sort of thing, it makes the world seem like so much bigger of a cage than I had originally thought. Puts things into perspective again for me. It's like the thoughts I use to have, when I was young, of the t.v. screen and inside that screen there was another t.v. screen, and then inside THAT screen there was another t.v. screen, and on and on and on. It was this instinctual metaphor I came up with for like everything in the world. I really get a kick out of people watching...it brings me home again, wherever that home is. I've come to the conclusion that home is me feeling @ one with the universe. It's the feeling that I can see everything clearly a/r me. I guess if I was to describe it in visual terms it would resemble being in the matrix a/f taking to blue pill [or was it the red pill?], but you see what I'm getting @. That feeling of just being intune with all that is a/r me...that is home. Huh, and ironically enough I end up alone.

I worked out again last night. I'm seriously getting a huge kick out of this gym shit I've been doing regularly with my girlfriend. She was not in the mood to be working out last night b/c she was very sluggish, but I think I push her to keep going. Mind you, we got to the gym @ 8pm and I wanted to stay till 10. I just hope she keeps this up, otherwise I'm going to have to harass her ass into coming with me. I'll do it too. I could have worked on more biceps last night but we focussed more on legs instead. Next time I'm going to push on my bicep work some more. I have pretty toned arms but I would like to thicken them up a bit more. I'm petite so I tend to become lean very quickly, which means that I can work on bulking a bit to give me a more meaty look. I have this picture in my mind of an animation character...I've always wanted to look like one. It will be very easy for me to sculpt myself into that. he only area I'm lacking would be my chest. I don't have huge boobs, they're only average...but that I can work on enhancing later on. I feel so fucking amazing a/f a hardcore workout!! It's like really good sex...almost no feeling can beat it.

Tonight I've got plans to go dancing @ a Salsa club down town. I'm excited since I love to dance. First though I'm going to go see Starsky & Hutch and laugh my ass off and then it's time to fuck the music. That's really what dancing is you know, you're fucking the rhythm...yes you are. Think a/b that next time you get onto the dance floor, it will change the whole vibe a/r you as soon as you get that thought into your head. Saturday night I have plans to go out dancing too. It's going to be a weekend full of shaking my ass a/r and teasing lots [and lots] of boys...and girls if there are some worth my time.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx