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Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2004, 9:49 a.m.: the boyz...

I have a bladder infection. It is NOT cool @ all. Sunday night/morning, I was up for like 5hrs trying to pee. It was pure torture...let me tell you. @ one point I sat on the toilet for 1hr, reading a book, just to take my mind off the fact that I felt like I had to pee so bad but it never happened. Actually, that's a lie. I would pee just a bit and it would never feel satisfying. I know this may seem like too much info but whatever. It sucked! So I got antibiotics yesterday, and a lecture from my doctor, and I'm on my way to recovery. I'm not sure where the lecture fit in, I mean the woman went off on me a.b sleeping with people that I've only known for a short time and how I should take care and shit. Fuck, it was nice that she cared but it really is none of her biz. This wasn't even my usual family doc!! Supposedly you 'can' get the whole bladder delio from 'hardcore sex' [my words, not hers]...what that has to do with going to bed wth someone I've known only for a little while I have no fucking clue. ANYWAYS..

I was suppose to go out with new guy#1 last night, but I decided to cancel. I felt like crap and I knew I'd be a downer...running to the washroom every 5mins. Mostly though, I really wanted to digest my weekend valentine b.f hooking it up with buddy again. I need to get him out of my system first. I was thinking a.b it last night and it's funny how these guys each hold something the other one doesn't. The boy is my emotional match, my rock, my centre, the one who I know I can count on for anything. New guy#1 is my intellectual match, the one I share similar ideas and philosophies with. He's the only guy, so far, that I don't challenge when he speaks. I literally hardly have anything to argue with him a.b...which is very rare for me. And it's cool b.c he knows alot a.b the things I'm interested in and he likes to tell me a.b them. Then new guy#2, as far as I know, is my sexual match...100%. I want them all, and you know, as long as none of them want me more [or less] than I want them...it would work out well that way...for a while @ least. I'm going to hang out with new guy #1 this weekend instead though.

I went to see a new photographer yesterday. I'm re-doing my headshots in the hopes that this guys style can capture the real essence of me. It's my next attempt @ getting inside an agents office for a meeting. He has this awesome style where he makes the person look 3d in his photos...and he plays with depth of the background to get that effect. I have a really good feeling a.b this one. He just really enjoys what he does and he's willing to keep shooting [more rolls] until I'm satisfied, @ no extra charge. I can bring anyone I want to the shoot to come and have fun with me, give me extra energy if I need it. It's all up to me really. I'm going to book with him for the end of March sometime. He was even giving me tips on how to market myself to agents...he's a really cool guy. I have a feeling I'm going to make him my permanent photographer.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx