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Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2003, 9:25 a.m.: Holiday Freakin...

Xmas eve it is tonight. My family is going to a 10pm mass to celebrate. I'm not particularly religious in the way of worshipping @ a church or whatever, but I consider myself spiritual. Anyways, I always have issues with going to mass b/c I don't think it is right for me to be receiving the 'host' if I don't beleive in the establishment or it's practises in general. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I know that my refusal of the host appears to others as a defiant act though...in the negative sense, when really that is not what it is @ all. So I still have mixed feelings a/b going tonight with them. Yes, it's Xmas but I never go to mass @ any other time so why should I be a hypocrite like all the rest of the people who only show up for 'special' occasions?? I don't want to offend my parents but I also don't want to offend myself either. I think I'm going to pass.

Today I get to leave early from work...3 hours to be exact. I'm going to meet up with a girlfriend for some lunch a/f and to exchange gifts. My girlfriend [the one I have an issue with @ the mo, from Friday] still hasn't phoned me. It's obvious that she is pissed @ me for some reason and has probably over-looked her own behaviour on Friday, towards me. That's fine with me b/c I will wait for her to phone me, when she's ready to talk, and then I can bring up my concern. I really don't appreciate having to deal with this so close to the holidays but, shit happens I guess. Okay then...Happy Holidays!!!!

<3 ~CAT~ xXx