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Thursday, Oct. 02, 2003, 11:20 a.m.: test...

I just got back from an audition today where I got to use my feelings towards my mother in a scene. I love when shit like that happens!! I hada run-in with the woman this morning and she just nearly drove me to delve into my homicidal tendencies. Okay, not quite...since I've learned to deal with her so much better. All I can say is 'don't fucking tell me how to do my job, which in reality is suppose to be your job, that you're too liberal and free to be doing yourself!!'. And if you feel guilty for that shit...DO NOT take it out on me!!! Fucking stupid people!! I really cannot stand some people. This clearly explains my tendency to detach myself emotionally from most people and most things @ times. Fuck, I'm lucky I can meddle with my own personality 'cause I would make a terrible actor if I couldn't. I feel too much or not @ all, and then sometimes I manage to get it centered properly. What I really like though is when I can take a negative feeling and use it to my advantage. I heard someone syaing that the shaolins [sp]use this technique in battle...they take someone's strength [or rather what it believed to be a strength] and use it on them and turn it into their opponents weakness. That's the kind of shit I revel in most!!

Love, CAT xXx