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Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2003, 9:05 a.m.: pains and pleasures again...

Today is the day I go for my consultation. For what you ask? Well, I've decided that the amount of money I spend on getting my sister to perfect black&white shots, of me, can pretty much get me professioanl shots. So I booked in a time to meet with this woman whose name I got through a friend on set. I spoke with her and her voice gave me a very friendly feeling. So, today we'll see how she does in person...she does some really nice work too. I think those two go hand in hand. I mean that I have to like what she does with her pics and also I have to like her as a person, otherwise she's never going to get a good shot out of me. I'll probably have to get my hair done again though b/f I go in for the actual pics. What sucks is that I'm planning on growing my hair out, so my pics are coming @ a time when my hair is sort of in between stages. But, I really have no other option @ this point. I need good pics so that I can send packages out to agents, cause that's my next step this year. I want an agent by the middle of the year, for sure. I also need good pics so that I can send them out to places that can provide me with more auditions, and I have to look my best. That's just the end of it! The hair thing is a huge hassle @ the moment though.

Tonight I've got to head down to a dance class where I HAVE to find another dancer. I need her by this Thursday, for sure, so that we can practise. Then by the w/e sometime, or by early next week, I can showcase the sequence. I'm crossing my fingers that it's gonna look as good in the flesh as it has been looking with only me doing it, and in my head.

I was back @ the gym yesterady. Holy fuck!! I haven't hardly lost any sort of cardio power, but muscle power is a different story. I can pump those pedals and fly a/r like a little fucking energy ball, but pushing those weights continously was killer. To make it worse I was using weight that was 3lbs less than what I was using b/f I took my time off, and it was still difficult. I was pushing myself to muscle failure with 5lb weights!! It's okay though, b/c a/f 2 weeks back to my routine I'll be back up to 8lbs again...so I'm not really worried. And I felt amazing a/f again. It's so worth the pain...but, that's me. My pain is an indication of my pleasure, so I have to take the bad to get the good. I'll grit my teeth and enjoy every damn minute, no second, of it too. B/c it'll feel so good. Okay, well, back to work.