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2002-09-13, 8:45 a.m.: the collective...

It's too god damn early today. I've already had to deal with a client. I really should lock the door if it's b/f 9am. The office opens @ 9, just b/c I'm here @ 8:30 doesn't give anyone the 'okay' to come in. I'm busy doing things here in the morning. Making the coffee, checking the messages, starting everything up, writng my diary, etc etc. Shit!!

We're in a depressing state here @ the office lately. My co-worker just found out that two of her children have 'Cystic Fibrosis'. I don't even know if I spelt it right. It's so fucking tragic, I can't even think a/b it. When I talk a/b it I want to cry. She's one hell of a strong woman and I don't even know how she got through the day. She truly is amazing. I tried to comfort her and I was speechless. I mean, what do you say to someone when you know it's not going to be okay. When you know that both children's lives will definately be cut short. That they wont be able to live past a certain age, and they can't even enjoy children or a family. In a time like that, silence seemed to be the best medicine...until the reality sinks in and settles. I hope she will be okay. Seems so unfair. @ the same time, I think pain is relative. So one persons reaction to one thing my be less or more than the next persons. You can never messure the pain and deep hurt that someone is feeling no matter what the situation. The death of a dog to one is the same as the death of a child to another, you know. One man's devil is another man's angel...like that. In the end I believe it all balances out. I don't know how, but I just feel it works that way. I've been aware of that fact since I was very young. When you lay the lives of people out, I believe everyone has the same type of experiences (in one way or another). Whether a short life, or a long life...I think the painful experiences and the happy experiences measure up. That's my theory. So, either way, to have compassion is the greatest gift you can give. So people don't feel so alone, b/c they're not.