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2002-02-21, 9:01 a.m.: revealing the truth...

So, I had an acting class yesterday and it went great. She asked me to start a scene (just an action) and once everyone knew what I was trying to do, they could join in and continue the same thing in ther own scene. So, I picked a shower scene...and half way through, as I glanced over @ people I thought to myself...shit, this is kinda personal. I noticed that everyone was avoiding washing their 'private' parts. Myself included, I wasn't going to go and totally wash my body the way I would by myself...although I threw in the arm pit thing and the chest washing (avoiding my nipple and pussy area). When we were all finished, my instructor commented on how I chose a scene that was extremely personal and how she was proud of all of us to go up w/o feeling discouraged a/b it. Apparently, Lee Strasburg made his students do this scene further into their acting studies, b/c he knew that it being a very personal act many would be wary of doing this in front of people. She was impressed with us. I jumped the class much further than she expected...she said. Cool!! I had alot of fun yesterday. I've warmed up to my class mates already. This is a very opening and loving experience. I love how it depends on the give-and-take of a relationship.

I went home and worked on my performance. Do you know how hard it is to put dance movements to that many beats of music?!?!?! Jesus Christ!! It's a huge challenge...and it's a fast beat too. I've got more of it to work on tonight...a/f I have dinner @ a friends place.

This girl's house who I'm going over to tonight is in dire need of a straightening up. She's been a good friend of mine for a while now. I've been sub-consciously stressing a/b this for too long and it's time I let her know the truth. Show her the big picture...b/c she fails to see it herself. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to just let things go. I never was the type who could just let shit roll off my shoulders. Just now I've come to the point where I must TALK it out. I'm going to have to lay it all out on the table for her...she may be surprised to find what she's been denying for so long, but I can't let this go anymore. Sure it's for my benefit, b/c I won't have to have it attack me in my mind while I least expect it...but, it will benefit her as well b/c she's been blind for WAY TO FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!

I hope the food tastes good.