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2001-11-13, 11:16 a.m.: I crave the pain...

I'm in the process of switching around this page. I have this other pic that I love love love, and I really want it on my diary. So hopefully it will be up and beautifully running soon.

My ex is asking to see me again. He owes me some cash and has made a cd for me. I'm looking forward to it...I have some news for him.

Things in my life are falling together very strangely. I've gotta read the 'Celestine Prophecy' again, to open my eyes totally. I've been having all these crazy dreams, but when I check them in my dream book..they are all fortunate. As opposed to in the past where they weren't all very nice.

Ahhh, Queer as Folk....Holy fucking Jesus!! The cenes in that show are to fucking die for. There is something very attractive to me a/b watching two men making out and shit. That show is filmed in Canada...I've gotta find that actor guy. I know, I'm talking crazy. If I make a video...I will put him in it, for fucking sure!

Now, I don't think I mentioned this, but my sister had a fuckign seizure last week. She's a strict vegetarian, but she misses alot of the vitamins and nutrients she needs still. SO her body went into shock, b/c her blood sugar level was so low that her natural insulin storage had to be used to feed he system. What it did though was rush into her and shock the shit out of her tiny body. She's better now, but she really needs to concentrate on what she eats. Yes...I've lectured her on it already and told her the consequences and got friends to look into shit for her and everything. Now, it's up to her.

My instructor @ the gym killed us yesterday. Last week some guy commented on how I was yawning through the exercizes. I didn't do it as an insult to her...it was just a natural thing that was happening. So either she took the opportunity to up the intensity for my aerobic and muscular benefit or I reall fucked up my body on Satuday (with the use of narcotics, which is also very possible), cause I wasn't fucking yawning yesterday. I like it better that way though...what's the use of working out if you're not going to hurt. That's the fun of it. Plus it shows that you are benefiting...so I'm sick, I like the pain...