Monday, Jan. 19, 2004, 12:08 p.m.: short and sweet...

If I were to show half of the anger I feel right now...I swear, half of the earth would blow up right in my face!!!! I am fucking furious today!!!! Why do some people take me to the edge and try to push me over and others just choose to accomodate? Somebody tell me!!! I am risilient, I don't need to prove that I am. Anyways, I'm going to cool down b/c all I will do is waste my energy and I refuse to give anyone that satisfaction. I so need to go to the gym though right now. I guess I really am high maintenance. I'm sensitive beyond belief and I need constant attention, otherwise I turn into a freak. Maybe I should start going for guys I don't care that much a/b...it would save me the fucking turmoil, seriously. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't...that's all I can say a/b that. I hate it when I can't think straight, you know.