2002-10-07, 9:21 a.m.: my weekend...

I am officially fucked up. Yes, I have come to the conclusion that I am. I don't care to discuss why right now, but I'm going to write it down on paper once I'm finished this entry.

I had a pretty good w/e. Two auditions and one rehearsal. Tonight I'm off to two more auditons. I bumped into a boy from my Theatre group @ my Friday audition...where I had to fake terror in an elevator. When I saw him outside waiting I went to talk to him and I was a complete nut case b/c of the shit I had to put myself through during the audition. He probably thought I was a wacko. I laughed a/f, of course, @ how ridiculous I must have sounded to him. It was fucked too, b/c when I first got there I got into the elevator with two guys and I was trying to find the basement level. They said it was probably LL on the control panel, so I went up to the 3rd floor with them and then pushed LL to go down. When I got to the bottom, the elevator stopped and didn't move or open. I looked up and was like 'Fuck, no way...if I get stuck in this thing I'm going to freak'. So I pushed the 'open door' button and the doors opened to the 1st floor, where I started out on. I chuckled to myself and walked out and I noticed the stairs, leading to the basement. When I got my sides for the scene it turned out to be an elevator scene where I get stuck and freak out. How fitting. I have a feeling I'll get that part.

Saturday's audition was in my neck of the woods. Lo and fucking behold who do I bump into there? New boy#1...again. We bump into each other a tad too much for it to be coincidence and you know what they say a/b coincidences? Nothing is a coincidence. But, that's another story that I don't care to elaborate on. So yea, I read for that part but I'm not sure if my short hair threw the director off, cause I felt like he was rushing through my scene. I know he was behind and shit, but I didn't even get to read the 2nd scene that was set up for me. I thought it sucked, although he did ask me if I would be available for Sundays (show days)....I think that was a good sign. Although I mean, I'm still left with nothing b/c one bad sign ruled out the good sign. We'll see.

Sunday's rehearsal was okay. We're putting on this show with a bunch of kids and we've been sort of rehearsing, but @ the same time getting the kids comfortable with us. It's basically going to be a get up and wing it kind of thing. 15 minutes with 3-4 kids, in front of an audience full of their parents. The good thing, is that anything they do will make their parents smile. That's a plus. I wanted to get my little sister in on it, b/c she says some funny shit. Much funnier than the stuff that's come out of these kids mouths.

Tonight I can't go to the gym, b/c I have my auditions. I don't mind missing my work out for an audition, but I'd much rather be working so that I can expend more energy. I get very frustrated when I can't get out my bottled up shit. It's detremental to my health and my well being.

Love, CAT XXX