2002-09-26, 8:55 a.m.: feeling silly...

All boys suck dick! Or they should, so that I can have two of them and not feel bad a/b it, cause I can still restrict them from all the other women. I guess I just want a slave. I don't think that's so bad. I mean, I think it's quite fair b/c I'm willing to be a slave too, to the RIGHT person. Who is the RIGHT person? I don't fucking know.

I have to take my car in today to get it tested. We have this emissions test where we have to make sure our cars are safe for the environment. A little late, don't you think. They should've started this shit a long time ago. Better late than never though. Drive clean, drive clean!

I'm feeling completely fucked up right now. Silly fucked up...that is. I think it's the after math of not getting that part. I found out the girl who did get it was the one who wasn't even there. SHe didn't realized that she got a call-back and missed it. Like, whatever. I thought it was a complete load of shit myself. She apparently got a private audition and made it, and the director knew her. Cest la vie! I got all egotistical yesterday a/f hearing that it's hard to break into those types of circles...where the cast is already familiar with each other and with the director. I hate that shit! I mean, if I was on the other end I guess I'd love it right?

I have to get my pictures done. I'm getting my friend and my sister to do some for me. I'm just going to pick and choose and I'm still going to use my other ones too. I think it's time to update my resume as well, and look into that other class again. I decided to not start b/c of this movie. I didn't want to haev to waste my money right away. If I don't get the part in the movie, then I'll start up with another class right away. That's just how it's going to go. As for auditioning, I'm going to just audition for whatever I can. I need to find a rich ass director and fall in love, or have him fall in love, with me that is. Is that too much to ask for??

Love, CAT XXX