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Monday, Jul. 05, 2004, 10:32 a.m.: we'll miss you...

No more movie. I'm going to cry. I feel like I've been dropped off a bridge...yea, I feel like such shit right now. I can't tell if it's depression setting in from this whole thing being over, or the after effects of too much alcohol that's doing it to me. I thought that having the month to recover, b/f I take off to NY, would do me good but now I'm freaking out. I decided though that I will have to just wait this feeling out and chill b/c I have alot to do still b/f I leave. Amoung other things, I could study for the test that I am suppose to be taking, come September, for my work. It'll get me a raise and that's the only reason I'm doing it. I wanna move into the city come fall, so some extra cash would do me some good. It's boring stuff though that I will have to learn, so I'm dreading it a bit. I don't exactly have much motivation to get it done...even considering the extra doh.

Greece won the euro cup yesterday. I'm pretty pleased with that. I'd take Greece over Portugal any day. I was rooting for Greece but actually thought that the Portugese would take the win...it's nice, in times like this, when I'm wrong. Only in times like this though..*wink wink* I got stiffed though for the game. I was to watch it with my girlfriend, but her boyfriend [who just told her a couple nights earlier that they need a break] called her and took her away from me. Of course, she went running to him and fucked me off...which I didn't really appreciate. I mean, I know you miss him and shit and you're upset that you have to stay away from him for a while and blah blah blah, wah wah wah, but I'm the one you should be keeping your promises too...especially in times like these. Some people never fucking learn. She apologized like crazy and I did sort of feel sorry for her. Apparently she suffered the whole day b/c of how guilty she felt. She drank too much and got sick, then she burnt a hole in the guys car she was in, and she almost passed out from the heat. It was probably the build up of anxiety mixed with the drugs and alcohol. I don't know why she doesn't just do what she's suppose to do, instead of hurting herself, for the sake of others...but that's her perogative, I guess. On top of all of it, her team even lost.

I watched 'Confessions of a Dangerous Mind' last night. Great movie...that I highly recommend to everyone. Sam Roberts, I think is his name, is an amazing actor. He's one of my new faves and probably one I would bang for hours on end. Trashy class, is what I would call him, that's how he strikes me. I don't know where I come up with these labels, it's just the essence I get from watching him move. And Drew Barrymore is so fucking adorable...I just love her. If you haven't seen it...go out and get it! Did you hear that Marlon Brando died?? One of the most amazing actors in the world...a true rebel and inspiration left us. What a sad day for the acting world. What makes me even more upset is that the end of an era is nearing. The whole new generation of actors are ruling now, and the fighters for truth and morals and purity are leaving us. That kinda scares me a bit. I think we've got some, but very few, who still work for the message, for the art, and not just for the money. What can you do though? RIP and party it up over there on your end!!!!