Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2003, 9:26 a.m.: stubborn...

Today is a pissed off day for me. I am extremely irritable. Everybody and everything is bothering me and it's taking alot of my energy to be happy. The weather certainly isn't helping either, it being so FUCKING MUGGY out. I just want to scream and pull my hair out right now. My cramps are killing me and if I wasn't on the pill I know I'd be in even more trouble, but it still baffles the fuck out of me that I can experience this much pain still. I mean, the damn pill is suppose to cure the hurt. Someone give me a knife please!

I've been overly stressing a/b my clothes...the ones that the wardrobe chick has. She hasn't phoned me as of yet, which may be me jumping the gun here, to think she would have seen the producer since yesterday morning. But fuck, I want my shit and I feel like I'm going to have to stalk the bitch to get it. I know where she lives and I know where she works and I will totally do it too. That's my shit and I want it!!!!

On top of that, I've never heard so many shitty Xmas songs as I have been hearing this year. Who the fuck comes up with this garbage?! They are complete trash...all of them!!! Does the fact that it's a holiday tune mean it needs to have no appeasing melody, or quality for that matter, @ all. Is that the criteria for an Xmas song?! Or is there no criteria @ all?!

Wasn't it yesterday that I was noting how the full moon, and it's coinciding with my period cycle, was making me stronger?? Yea well, I think NOT!!! The irony of it. I should just keep my mouth shut. The minute you think you've figured something out a/b yourself, the universe goes and throws it for a loop. Is everybody in this world trying to 'put me in my place'?? Fucking bull-shit...good thing I'm a stubborn little bitch.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx