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Tuesday, Apr. 29, 2003, 9:19 a.m.: moving on...

A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. If she is menstruating, she is more prone to be

attracted to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire. Further studies are expected.

Now, is that not the fucking funniest thing I've seen all day?! I laughed my ass off...I'm in a good mood today already. I did the wake up @ 5:30am again today. It kinda pisses me off, b/c I use to really love my sleep. Nothing use to matter in your sleep. It was the place where you could forget all your troubles and just drift into the unconscious, not worrying a/b what twisted and fucked up shit you'd fall into b/c it wasn't real. Now though, I find all the normal everyday shit in my subconscious comes thru in my unconscious and fucks up my sleep. It's the really scary shit. All the realities of life, and then I wake up with my heart racing and I CANNOT fall back asleep again. So I stayed up, attempting to stop my brain from going over and over shit. It was pretty unnerving. I started to also think a/b the fact that my 'relationship' with M.R. is beginning to feel alot like my previous 'relationship' with my ex. I don't want to fall into the same patterns as I did b/f, and while I value his friendship I need to really look out for myself emotionally. I tend to want to put all my faith in someone, and then when I get smashed it comes close to killing me. I just need to evaluate and choose what I see is worthy of me putting my faith into. It may be some parts and not all parts, and I guess that's okay. I mean, it's gonna have to be. This needs to be taken care of first.

As you can probably tell, from my first post [especially], I'm PMS'ing. The bloody bitch is back again! I've got to thank the skies for the nice weather we're getting though. If it was shitty out my mood would be 3 octaves lower. Oh, have I mentioned that I'm not going to be moving in with my girlfriend anymore. We decided that we would most likely kill each other and we choose to keep our friendship [and ourselves] in tact instead. So, I'm on my own mission to find my own place. To which I think will beneift me much much more. I need my own space and I need to be closer to the city. It's exciting when I'm starting a new project. I love a change of place. I love moving a/r...and I love the whole process. I'm going to start researching today.

And, who the hell is my cupid?!?! Love, CAT xXx