rings email host

Thursday, Apr. 03, 2003, 9:51 a.m.: to be raw...

My throat is killing me today. Okay, it's not exactly KILLING me, but it's raspy and shit. We got freezing rain this morning! Can you believe that shit?! I was scraping it off my car and my fingers started to freeze. Ridiculous I tell you. The amount of people who are going to get sick b/c of this drastic weather change is going to be huge. And with the SARS thing travelling a/r, so many people are going to be freaking out and showing up @ the 'special clinics' that have been set up to treat it.

I went to meet a girlfriend for drinks last night a/f my rehearsal. We shared some food and wine. Have I mentioned b/f how much I love red wine? The feeling I get when I drink wine is beyond anything I feel when I drink any other kind of alcohol. It's so yummy, I love it! We had calamari...which is another love of mine. It's been a while since we've been to my favorite restaurant too. It's a mixture of Mediterranean and Middle Eastern food and it's delicious as hell!! It's nice when we go out together. I'm so glad that she's opening up to me again a/b her life. I hate it when my close friends feel they can't talk to me, for whatever reason. And yes, I'll admit that I was weary of her whole involvement in the big love triangle thing...but that's what happens when you're not open with each other. Anyways, I'm glad she's back and I'm glad that she expressed her side of the story to me with an open heart.

Tonight I'm suppose to go and audit this new 'wonder' teacher I found. I'm crossing my fingers here that he will be everything I think he is. I'm looking for someone who will be able to open me up, look inside, and throw me a/r until I get the most raw and purest technique and form ingrained in me. I want my acting to be instinctive and natural and I don't want to have to think a/b calculating my motions and shit. I want rawness to work with and I need someone demanding enough, but magnetic enough, to take it from me...to show me the way. So we'll see how it goes.

M.R.[ ;) ] called me yesterday to see how the seminar went. It's so strange to have a male figure be that attentive or considerate with me. I'm use to having only a very authoritative male a/r who could never talk to me. So this is a beautiful thing to experience...when I'm not in a mood, so that I can really appreciate him. I fucking love him, truly.

Love, CAT xXx